Suddenly I'm here. On the verge of tears and the verge of change. Not sure just what yet. The pull of the waxing moon. The energies intensifying as we make our way to Summer Solstice. And I find myself here. Sitting in a room of people but feeling so alone. More so, out of place. As if I've outgrown a too tight skin of mine and it's starting to shed itself through my waterways within. This perpetual changing over the last two years, mainly, is tiresome and I just want to sit and be. I want to be done growing for a limited time. I want to be content in the place I am at. With the person I am.

It's exhausting, being in a place of becoming all the time. And I would like a break. A break from being worried I was too transparent. A break from feeling the pain of everyone else. A break from feeling inadequate over superficial things like a clean house and that having some sort of relevance to my worth. A break from apologizing when I shouldn't. A break from unexpected events that can so easily derail me. A break from crying. Mary Magdalene, I'd love to pass the torch of weeping back to you love.

As each full moon approaches the pressure behind my tear ducts intensifies. The words that I've been too afraid to say, the boundaries that I've been setting in place. They are all there. Under the surface. Coming to the surface.

And I'm not backing down this time.

This year is the year for crying. The year for leaps and bounds in my growth. And I just hope that soon it will be the year for rest. For settling in. I ask this of you universe.

Light a candle for me, love?

{Katelyn}