Spinning

I found myself clutching the handle in the shower. Holding on as the water spun around me. As the walls danced and my eyes could not focus. I was unaware that the shower I just stepped into was a roller coaster and if you know me, you know I am not a big fan of the metal behemoths. Vertigo and I, we are doing a dance. A dizzying, had one to many drinks, kind of dance.

My husband got home from being offshore today and as I showed him the essential oil routine I was wanting to try, he told me he would also perform the Epley maneuver on me to try to get all my crystals back in place.  After he finished and read more about Vertigo in his book, he remembered that on the 5th of this month I hit my head with a trunk door, hard. I was afraid of the damage I may had done and struggled for about a week after with my speech. Not enough for those around me to really notice, but I also wasn't around those that talk to me on a regular basis during that time. After the slurred speech subsided, I forgot all about the trunk door incident.

But here I am again, worried about what is going on just under the surface. With memories of a car accident, caused from an undetected brain bleed, that caused a seizure in the man driving the van I was in home from a summer church camp and stories of a friend's father going weeks with an undetected brain bleed. Reading that vertigo related to a head trauma can show up anywhere from immediately after to one year after the fact doesn't help my paranoia a stinkin' bit. On Monday I will be heading into an urgent care to start the process of getting my brain checked out.

And I'm fucking scared.  

I could use some serious ass kicking juju right now, okay? I'd appreciate any prayers, good energies, lit candles, all of it. Anything you've got. Throw some my way, pretty please. 

Katelyn