::Documenting this woman on the 27th year::

Today I feel heavy. And I can't pinpoint the exact cause of this weight. I am very happy with growing another year older, but through this last revolution, I am not sure I can tell you any thing that I have learned that has made me grow stronger. Actually as the days, months, hours pass by I feel myself weakening.
This whole dance, two steps forward, three steps back, is getting old. As I've said a few times over the last year, "Can't I just be done growing for a while?" I find myself asking the same questions again. I find myself drawing in. Becoming more guarded and private.
The creepy crawlies of a constant tinge of loneliness. The very real feelings of being unimportant. Placing unfair expectations on others and wishing the ways I showed them love were reciprocated similarly.
I'm just not sure where to go from here.

But with saying this, I am so very grateful to those who take the time out to hold me up when I am down, to celebrate me, even when I am hiding the fact I don't feel up to celebrating, feeling sorry for myself and sitting in a stew of grumpiness. The friends that take care of me especially during the times my husband is gone at work.

Here's to getting my shit together during this next year.

Katelyn