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Getting confirmation that the issues you have dealt with as long as you can remember is in fact a genetic disorder is simultaneously validating and heartbreaking. There’s no cure, just bandaids. At least I know how to help my body and don’t feel “lazy” for the things my body physically cannot do now but I also am so exhausted by a society that does view that as laziness and something I need to overcome.

I started a medication last week to help my chronic pain, after years of supplements, exercise regimens, specific types of diets, eastern medicine, and natural remedies. None have brought me any sort of lasting relief. So far, this medication has started to lessen the daily pain I feel. It unfortunately has come with some side effects that I’m desperately hoping will subside. Each day I wake up more and more fatigued, after years of an already constant fatigue from my EDS. I’m not sure which is worse. But honestly, if this new level of increasing fatigue doesn’t subside at least in a couple weeks, I think I’d rather have the daily pain. At least with that I learned to be able to work through it to find moments of joy during the day instead of just fighting bro stay awake.

I’m just, I’m tired of being tired. I wish I had a tub I could take a proper bath with and a massage to melt into.