It’s day 5 of Joey having Covid and it’s incredible to me just how quickly one can feel so desperately alone. It hit him very suddenly and intensely. He slept for nearly 40 hours straight the first couple days. Seeing him so sick has been terrifying but I’m glad to see little improvements over the last couple days.

It’s been a very isolating two and a half+ years since Natasha’s death, my grandmother’s death, the pandemic starting and being ongoing, my dearly loved dog’s death, having to step away from my biological family in it’s near entirety, and getting near radio silence from the community around me during all of that.

So having to sleep in the living room, out of my cozy safe space, away from the one person who really sees me, has been too much to bear. My body and heart aches. I can’t imagine how he must be feeling as well having to be sequestered away from everyone while he goes through this.

I don’t have any thoughtful response or mind blowing epiphany going through this, I’m just terrified. And lonely. And it’s not over.

I wish I had friends that could physically show up for me.